America The Beautiful

Amidst the hubbub of election news and various political conventions,

I wanted to take this opportunity to share with you some of the reasons
I am proud to be an American!

(all photos courtesy of me wasting several hours of my life 
on Pinterest that I'll never get back)

We have the right to bear arms...

'Please, maniacal gun-toting, overall wearing boy - 
stop calling me Old Yeller and stay away from the shed!"

But the ones who aren't into artillery can always join a boy band.

Hey, fellas! Let's have a Glitter Fight and look all man-ly!

Big, glittery mess to clean up?

We have dog mops,

and Asian Baby Mops

In America, our doors are always open.

Unless Asian Baby Mop's family retaliates with the invisible door!

Speaking of families...

It's a great place to raise your family.

And when you're done vomiting, 

you can find recipes on the internet to turn that vomit into a lovely dinner...

complete with a side salad.

We have a great schools in America.

And, we promote recycling.

Because pink plastic Flamingos are not nearly tacky enough when
they are strewn about your yard between the '77 Camaro on cinder blocks
and the front porch washer and dryer that you turned into beer coolers.

They are best used as a chandelier with light up beaks!

What? No duct tape?

I told you this was a great country!

 

À la vie et à l'amour

-Cortney